زهر

17 Aug

أوّل ما الصبح يطلّ
جنيّات زغار بتاخدك منّي
بتعمّدك بحبّات الندى
وأنا وحدي بفلّ ع الهَدا

بشوف الشمس عم بتملّي الفضا
مغرورة بتقشع بحالا
ولمّا تشوفك بتجنّ
وبتنسى الناس ال فاقوا كرمالا
بتغمرك..
بتضّل حدك ما بدّا تفل

وفراشة من بعيد توميلك
تتغنج عليك..
بتقرّب منّك شوي شوي
بتشرب من شفافك..
بتسْكر
وبتفلّ مرنّحة
بعلما رايحة صوب الشمس
فكرا عم بتطير،
و هيّ بعدا بمطرحا

كل نسمة بتمرق، بتراقصك..
بتخبّر عنك كل وردات الحي
وبتنشر عطرك بالمدى

أنا بشوف كل هيدا و بجنّ
بفكّر كيف فيي خبيك بقلبي
وكذب عالجنيّات، قلّن:
صرلو جمعتين ما طل صوبي
جمعتين ما شكّيت زهرة بخصلات شعري الملتوية
جمعتين ما لفّيت عقد زهر ع رقبتي

ولمحة شيطنة بعيوني بتفضحني

بس كيف بخبّيك بقلبي
كيف؟! كيف، وانت الدني ما بتساعك!
ومين المجنون اللي بيحبس زهر..

Short Story

13 Aug

We met amid the processes of regaining our faiths in humanity and love and we broke each other’s hearts in our search for eternal happiness.

 

We laughed a lot

 

He hid his selves while I grabbed his hand and took him for a trip across my universes. We wandered in my dimensions and spheres.

I took him to the darkest spots in there, he pulled his hand from mine. I cried.

I cried a lot

 

He shared his vices.

He danced a lot

 

He swam inside of my blood

I sank in him

 

We drank a lot

We laughed a lot

We loved a lot

 

He tried to fit me in her silhouette

But I am not that thin – I suppose- and I certainly have bigger boobs

I was blocking her silhouette, only a few centimeters of her showed above my head

 

That scared him

He didn’t really want to not to see her

He didn’t want to forget her

 

I didn’t hate her

I didn’t love her either

 

I was jealous of how beautiful she looks in his eyes. I liked her.

 

 

They broke each other’s hearts in sake of keeping that eternal happiness they felt in each other’s arms.

 

 

We loved a lot but not that much

He danced but we didn’t

I cried and I didn’t

 

We laughed. We always will

On a dreary past & a bleak present

7 Jun

I am losing control over my demons and monsters
Violent, very violent
They escape the cages the minute I close my eyes
I travelled 2000 miles and still can’t escape
Persistent and rude
They sneak up on me
They are nothing but my repressed desires and hopes
His smiles, his 3 smiles turn into infants from hell squishing my eye balls till they pop like balloons filled with a rotten breath of a rapist with yellow hollow teeth
And I hid from them, cut my hair, changed my address, wore a different me and they found us
I have changed my bed’s position, changed rooms, houses, changed countries
And still those creepers crawl up on my back, on my face, inside my veins.. in silence.. No sound, nothing!
Pounding in the chest
And I am tempted, over and over again, to

24 hours ago

20 Apr

Then there was void,

With the gravitational force of a thousand black hole

An abyss with no end

And I fell in.

Like what happened to Alice

The White Rabbit yelled that we ran out of time

And the Queen of Hearts demanded his heart in red..

Or his head!

While the Mad Hatter told me that I have lost my muchness and warmth

And I forgot,

I must close my eyes otherwise I won’t see anything.

So I made up sounds

To fill the void with noise

And climb the noise out the abyss

But the noise is heavy…

أون كرولتي آند ديهيومانيزايشن

12 Jun

جسد بلا رأس، معفّر بالتراب
أب يبكي طفلته بعجز بينما هي تلفظ نفسها الأخير بين يديه
شاب ينقسم نصفين بينما تنطلق سيارتان بإتجاه معاكس
أطفال أيديهم على صدورهم و أرقام متسلسلة تلتصق بجباههم
بعضٌ من صُوَر ..

أو مشهد واحد في فيلم هوليوودي
وفي المشهد التالي غضب يطل من عيون البطل، بينما يضم صاحبته التي تنهار باكية ويزرع قبلة على جبينها
الـ 15 دقيقة القادمة صور متلاحقة لا يفهم المُشاهد كنهها، فقط يسمع صوت رصاص!
المشهد الأخير: يخرج البطل ظافراً من بين الركام بجرحٍ على ذراعه وآخر على جبينه

لكن لا أبطال هنا
هنا يموت الموتى
ومن يبقى، مثلي، يتمم: “زمطنا هالمرة”، ويكمل فنجان النسكافيه، ويشعل سيكارة أخرى

إختناق حاد

10 Apr

الألوان تهرب مني

دوائري
مدني

كل ما لدي
وما ليس لدي
– أيضاً  –
يهرب

هو الوقت
يسرق ما يشاء ويهرب

ومجددا تلك الرغبة بالبكاء تلاحقني
وأنا أهرب

On emotions and survival

19 Dec

trivial, all is trivial
before an norm, a verse, a belief

and I am no better

In the end you are truly alone
and that belief is all u got
to fight for it
to fight with it

there might be overlapping in those circles we wander in
but they would never intersect

humans were never social creatures
they lied to us

we were unicellular ‘opportunistic’ organisms
and now we are multicellular “so-phisticated” opportunistic organisms

and yet again we witness our own death
over and over and over again

share all, and all is trivial
give away
because what you give is invaluable in the first place
feed your arrogance
never keep a record of how many of your selves died

and never share yourself
because you are too vain
too arrogant

tomorrow holds nothing better
it will never do