On survival and living

Once, I was a fierce activist, I shared in all demonstrations and protests, I even coordinated some. I wrote articles, prepared flyers and posters to be distributed.. I got swept by intense debates and even word fights..

There was a time when I was a nerd, a science nerd! I would study for 19 hours per day, no TV no internet. I would wake up at 5 AM, or pull an all nighter to get into the depth of a subject spending free times in libraries, researching online..

I recall being a basketball fanatic, playing the game, being in the school’s team, watching Lebanon winning Asian Basketball Championship. Cheered Sagesse team in each of his games and had Fadi Al-Khateeb’s  pics all over my closet..

There was a time when I was the very girly girl! Pink became sacred and I turned into a fashion maniac. I would spend more than 8 hours per day shopping. I read beauty magazines, watched E entertainment 24\7. Became an expert in hair products, skin care, make up.. you name it!

I had been an extreme mischievous girl. I -with my friends at that time- broke the windows of a couple of factories nearby. Spitted chewed bubble gum on moving cars from above a bridge. We destroyed private properties, entered abandoned homes and factories. We befriended some homeless dogs with fleas :D. Hit some other kids, and bullied the rest…

…

….

Lately, life has became a monotone..a boring series of actions and reactions and I am merely living..

What makes survival different than living? Isn’t to survive means to stay alive?

Survival is highly correlated to risk factors, while living is just a monotonous chain of actions. This reminds me of a song for Khaled Al-Haber called at 7:00 a.m. It describes an ordinary day in an ordinary person’s life, and it is seriously the most boring song I have ever heard.
What I’m trying to say here is that life without a challenge, is not worth living.

Just reflect upon the following;

Am I living challenging death, or Am I living because I didn’t die yet!

Do I live waiting to die? Accomplishing every-day’s tasks just to make time pass, or I’m running out of time to accomplish things.

…

to be continued..